The scribe writes as fast as Dr. Mary Baker Eddy, head of Christian Science Invest-igators, dictates,
"Jewish male, approximately 33 years old. Cause of the illusion of death: Crucifixion, usual nail imprints, both wrists, feet. Contusions in facial area. Under right ribcage, wound inflected," She measures the opening, "Caused by a spear." She leans over the body, turns it over, "Massive lacerations on back, and shoulders. Muscle and bone exposed… blood is congealed. Subject was severely dehydrated. Gives the appearance of death…bout five hours. No rigor mortis, body shows no sign of decomposition. Proves what I believe all along… there's no such thing as death. " Dr. Eddy looks at the sign nailed at the top of the cross, 'King of the Jews'.
"Why are we looking into this? We know who caused this false impression, there's no question about it," Dr. Phineas Quimbly, Eddy's mentor, pulled the sheet over the body, "He was sentenced by Pilate, beaten, whipped, and seemingly executed according to the Roman law. Nothing unusual here."
"It's not a question of Jesus's illusion of death. I'm interested in why he wasn't healed! What'd we know about him."
"We have depositions from several witnesses, they claimed he healed them-"
Eddy interrupted, "He told them what they needed to hear, all they had to have was faith."
"And he forgave others of their sins, even offered salvation to those who believed-"
"Sin, no such thing. If there's no sin, there's no need for salvation."
"He said he was the way, the truth, and the life."
"There's only one holy trinity I pushing, and I'm convinced it's divine revelation, reason, and demonstration. I know, I received these revelations when I was in the shadow of the death valley myself. You," she points to Quimbly, "taught me I could heal myself, if I firmly believe in 'never doubting'. That's how I live my life!" Her glance notices someone behind him, "Who's that woman over there, she looks…distraught."
He briefly looks, turns back, "Her name's Mary, claims to be Jesus' mother."
"I guess she feels bad. After all, she thinks he's dead."
A man runs up, and joins them. "Shalom, y'all."
"Hey Brown, where you been, I need a sketch of this body. You've been out gambling again?"
"I…er… " he looks down at his feet, then back up at Dr. Eddy, "I over heard some roman solders whiles they's playing dice… for a purple robe. They said it's his." He points towards Jesus. "I thought it might be important to the case, you know, evidence. I almost won," He shakes his head, "But it wasn't a total loss, the solders was talking… we got another body. Guy's name is Judas Iscarariot."
"Maybe if he doesn't give the illusion of death too much, we'll get him to spill his guts." Quimbly rubs his hands together.
"Wait, there's mo. The solders say there's bodies, about four hundred, come alive and popping out their graves all over the bone garden."
Quimbly looked over at Dr. Eddy. She didn't look surprised.
Two days later
"O.K. people, what are we looking at?" Eddy asks her team.
"I've got reports Jesus isn't in his tomb." Quimbly states matter-of-factly.
"Same here," Brown hands her his sketches, "talk is he rose early this morning."
